Sunday, 9 September 2018

My Summer 2018!

 As sad as I am to say it, Summer is over. It has flown by but I can say it's been a rollercoaster. My life has completely changed both for the good and the bad but it has also shown me how far I have come as a person. I have achieved things I didn't think would ever happen. 

I left a job that I owe a lot to, from the confidence I made to the brilliant life long friends I made. It also gave me the stepping stone to having the job I always wanted in the place I only dreamt of. I have had amazing experiences through it as you can see from the photos of putting on a show for crowds of over 50,000 people. Everyday has been different and like an adventure. I have got studio experience, and finally the opportunity I always wanted to prove myself and my passion.

My anxiety has been near to non existent - theres of course been moments I have felt on edge and even drained from how much work I have done. I just took a step back, reassessed everything and tried not to get stressed. This summer also marked a year from when I first started to seriously improve my mental health and can safely say that from July 2017 to July 2018 was the best year of my entire life. I fully believe this is because with the improvement of my anxiety I have been able to live my life exactly how I have always wanted. 

My social life was not as much of a priority this summer so there was no holiday for me, but I don't mind as there is plenty of chance in the future for a week away. However, I did make the most of seeing my friends. Every moment I have had outside of work I have made equally special memories with the best of people.

August was not so good, as on the 1st August at 7pm my Grandad passed away. He had been ill for quite a while but it was still a shock. I hadn't planned to visit him in hospital on the day it happened but I just suddenly had the urge to go eventhough I had been told he was getting slightly better - enough to come home. As soon as I got there and saw my nan standign at the bottom of his bed as he struggled to breath I knew somethign bad had happened but I never expected that when I cam eback from gettign everyone coffee I'd be watching him go. The whole month was then a bit of a blur as you can expect. I tried to keep as busy as possible but somethings I just couldn't bring myself to do. My group of friends were so so supportive which did help a lot and I think without them I wouldn't have dealt with it all as well. I read the eulogy at his funeral which I am so proud that I did as I know its what my Grandad would of wanted. 

So, my summer was literally life changing and as I said at the start, both for the good and the bad. I have a whole new perspective on life and can not wait for the future.

As my Grandad was always so encouraging and excited by what ever I did next I want to dedicate this post to him.


Wednesday, 5 September 2018

September Goals!

I still can't get my head around the fact it is already September!

August couldn't have been a worse month, I had my first big family bereavement as my Grandad passed away on the 1st August which as you can imagine completely changed my outlook on life and put into perspective the importance of family. I also wrote and read the eulogy at his funeral which I am proud that I did. I tried to keep busy with work and distractions but as you can imagine my Grandad was my biggest focus. This month, however, I have a lot planned so hopefully keep me busy and act as a distraction.

No McDonalds
Yes, I am on a McDonald's ban, I have mentioned this a lot but I am very very partial to a burger, and a sucker for their crispy chicken wrap but as we all know it's not the healthiest - even though I do claim its ok as their's lettuce on it! It's also the easiest thing to grab as I'm always on the go. So for the whole of September, there is categorically going to be no McDonalds... wish me luck!

Stay Organised 
Due to how busy I have been all sort of paperwork has gone out the window, I am actually creating more work for myself not doing it so the aim is to stay on top of it.

Take time for myself
Sometimes I forget the importance of 'me time' and actually doing what I want as I get caught up on other peoples expectations and the mindset that business comes before anything else. When in reality keeping myself happy and healthy should be more of a priority as without me the other things I focus on can't happen

Plant a tree
This is more of something I want to do rather than a goal but I would love to plant a tree in memory of my Grandad to see something grow and a place where myself and my family can remember him.

Prioritise family
I have said this for a while but my current situation has really put this into perspective. It's made me realize that time is special and when lost it can't be got back.

What are your goals this month?